Monday, April 02, 2007

It makes me want to scream sometimes

I sort of remember that my horoscope for the year of the pig basically went something like...

"It is a good year for learning, but no one will teach you except yourself..."

Seriously.

What sucks is that the "no one will teach part" is often true... the "learning" part isn't. Sigh.

It's really stressful sometimes, not knowing what to do and not knowing what to ask. And because of this I'm was often tired, sometimes I couldn't sleep at night. It reached the point where I couldn't take it anymore. I was so troubled, sa scared, so tense... I just didn't know what to do.

And then, I discovered God...

...of War II

What? Did you honestly think I'd do all that icky drama stuff here? Hah! Never!

I'd much rather talk about God of War II... the game that has showed me that the best way to get rid of stress is to vent. And boy does this game make for a whole lot of venting. It's just as bloody, violent, and addicting as the first God of War, only this time, there's more of it and in a much more epic scale.

For those not in the know, God of War tells the story of Kratos, a Spartan (yes, a Spartan, I'm starting to think that maybe Chuck Norris isn't the most badass person ever... maybe it's a Spartan with Spartan abs of death. Unless... Chuck Norris IS a Spartan!) warrior who defeated Ares in a quest for revenge and became the new God of war in the process. The sequel tells of his fall from Olympus and his efforts to get his revenge on the Gods. The Spartan way (which basically means with a lot of beheading, limb chopping and impaling).

But really, like in 300, the story isn't the highlight of the game, it's the action. Again, like 300, it's just so visceral and satisfying on a purely primal level that I can't seem to get enough of it. Mainly it's because the gameply is so well done here. Besides the normal hacking and slashing action, there are also a lot of context sensitive mini-games where you either have to quickly press a randomly generated sequence of buttons or do a quick button mash to get Kratos to perform some really cool move (there's even a mini-game where you can make... uh... sexy time with a couple of half-naked women who you just happen come across bathing at a pool in the middle of the city while it's being invaded by a Spartan army... hmm, strange place to find half-naked women bathing, but hey, I'm not complaining).

Here's an example of the context sensitive gameplay (this isn't the one with the half-naked women.. pervert!). It's kinda long, just skip to around 4:15 (or the last 40 seconds), and look at the lower left of the screen to see what you need to do to finish Theseus off.



Yep, according to the makers God of War, Theseus (along with Perseus, Icarus and Jason) all met their end at the hands of Kratos. So once again, like 300, it may not be an accurate depiction, I really don't care, it's still bloody fun. And you know what? Since we all know that 300 and GoW are not really accurate depictions of Greek history and mythology, maybe it isn't the abs that made the Spartans so badass. Maybe it was their beards! Yeah, beards... I can do that. Screw diet and exercise! I'm gonna grow a beard!













Leonidas and Kratos, separated at birth?

Year of the Geek

Aliens!

Alien-robots!

Mutants!

Mutant-Ninjas!

Ninja-orcs!

Stars! (not of the Juday variety mind you)

All in 2007! Aah, it's good to be a geek...

Now for some hot Alien-robot action...